Ex Cinis Cineris
by baby-new-year
Summary: They won the Games. Now, they are up for bigger challenges: living with the past, and starting a family. *sequel to Victoria Diligo* (The title should be a rough translation to 'Out of the Ashes.' If I am wrong, please let me know)
1. Chapter 1

A/N- As I said in the summary, this story is a sequel to another one of my fanfics, and it is recommended that you read it (Victoria Diligo) before this one.

Chapter One

Mentor applications. Who would have thought they would be so hard? But half-way between the Games and the Victory Tour, they are necessary. I always thought that is was optional to become a mentor, but here we are, filing out the required forms. Unexpectedly exasperated with this, I push the papers aside and let out a long sigh. Honestly, this all just feels wrong... I used to always want to be a mentor one day, which requires winning, but still... I can't quite pinpoint why this feels wrong. I shouldn't be encouraging more people into this, right? I mean, I'm having second thoughts about everything...

But good has come from all of this. In order to remind myself of that in this situation, I grasp my wedding ring in between two fingers and twist it around slightly. 'This wouldn't have happened if you weren't in the Games,' I remind myself as I twist it around. I have had to do this so much in the six days that I've been wearing it that there is already a blister forming, and it is almost a subconscious motion now. Exhaling slowly, I go back to the papers.

'_What were your weaknesses in the arena?'_ The question jumps out at me, and clarity rushes through everything. Technically, I should be writing something about how I was too impulsive, or played too many different roles for both the audience and my fellow competitors. But instead, the truth hits me; the weakness happened before the Games even began. By allowing my district's process of allowing traditions to brainwash us, I, and many others, set ourselves up for this emotional turmoil. We are viewed as the strongest, yet we are really the weakest... We allowed our sense of humanity to please their ridiculous expectations in a way that should never be done...

As quickly as possible, I get the forms done and shove them into the envelope they came in. The tidal wave of emotion floods me as a sharp scream is ripped out of me. Then the tears flow down, burning hot at first, but the emotional release ends up feeling so good that the warmth is comforting. Yet, at the same time, I hate it...

Another scream leaves me, and the world doesn't seem to exist anymore. I am not aware of what's going on, and I'm not sure I want to...

The next thing I am aware of, though, is a feeling of pressure and warmth against me. "Hi," I say with a sniffle as Cato comes up behind me and pulls me into a hug. I continue to cry slightly. Honestly, I hate this. This never happens...

"We have to do something," he says to me. "We have to change this."

What is he talking about? Changing the entire system of the country? No, we can't do that... "You want to revolutionize Panem? That would be your second completely crazy decision this year alone."

"We have to something... And what was the first?"

Wiping some of the tears away, I state the blunt truth. "Marrying me. I'm a wreck..." As expected, there are protests to this, but I tune them out. It isn't until we are eye-to-eye that I take any of it in.

"Listen, Clove," he begins slowly and thoughtfully. "That was the best decision I could ever make, and I hope you feel the same because, quite frankly, I'm a wreck, too." I feel the slight shift against my body as he takes a deep breath. "We just need each other, okay?"

After a moment, common sense kicks in. "Okay," I agree. It's true, after all. Beauty can rise from ashes...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Several months later, it's off to District Twelve to begin the Victory Tour. The idea is to go to each district in backwards numeric order, but skip over District Two and come back to it after the Capitol stop, which is after District One. The whole trip, including travel time between districts, will take a little under a month. Honestly, it's only a few interviews and some public appearances, but I am really freaked out about it. Today is the day that we leave, and like every morning for the last week, I wake up with nervous butterflies churning in the pit of my stomach.

The first day is going to be all travel, and we won't get to District Twelve until early tomorrow afternoon. But somehow, the length of idle time just seems to make the anxiety worse. Maybe it's because it prolongs this pointless trip.. All I know for sure is that from the second we stepped onto the train, all I've wanted is to get back to District Two and stay there.

Once we are on, though, it's all business. Technically, since we are both over eighteen- my birthday was a month before the tour began- we are considered to be old enough to not need our mentor's to come with us. But that doesn't mean we aren't being closely being supervised. The prep teams are both here, and are pretty much overseeing our entire trip. The second we step through the door, we are whisked off in separate directions for general prep. For me, that means several hours worth of waxings, nail stuff, hair extensions, and other useless things. Honestly, I don't see the point. Why exactly do my nails have to be this long anyway? I can barely use my hands for anything... The hair extensions are okay, considering that I can just pull them out of the way, but still, what is the point?

After that, once half my eyebrows are missing and I can use my nails as literal talons, they want to go over wardrobe once, just in case. I never usually wear dresses, but these thirteen still manage to blur together in my mind. There is a light gray sweater-style one for District Twelve tomorrow, and then a floaty yellow one for Eleven after. But then, it gets really confusing... I just can't seem to get visual memories to stay, especially not of something so frivolous as this! One of the few that I do remember is gross. It is meant for the Capitol stop, and I absolutely hate it. It's this frilly light pink material with a full skirt, it is full of glitter, and it is strapless. Urgh, I am so tempted to use these fake nails and claw it to shreds... Ugh... Maybe that is over-reacting a bit, but... Oh, well. I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately... It's probably just tour-stress...

Tour stress, along with the lingering effects of the Games, certainly has taken it's toll. That night, I wake myself up after yet another nightmare, and roll over to an unusual noise. After a few moments, I can tell that this sound is Cato crying in his sleep. This has happened before, once or twice, and always a few weeks apart. I know from the first time that there isn't really any way to wake him up until its over. Still, doing nothing feels so wrong that I can barely allow the thought to form. Slowly and quietly, I sit up and pull his head onto my lap. "Shh," I whisper. "It's okay, everything is fine. Just relax, okay?"

Relax? How can we? Everything is okay? No, it isn't! This is the exact same propaganda that the Capitol put out. And we need to end it.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- I think you are going to like this chapter. :-)

Chapter Three

The next morning, at nine sharp, we are standing in front of the entire population of District Twelve. It is ironic, in a way; there is a history of our district intimidating them, but now, it is the other way around. _Run _my instincts beg me. _Run and go back to Two. _For a second, my eyes squeeze shut as I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Against the darkness that my eyelids force upon me, I blindly feel around for Cato's hand. Once I find it, I squeeze it until I feel my fingernails digging into it. Still, I can't let go...

A pair of soft blue eyes, glazed over with tears, are glaring at me. The harsh look is disproportionate to the otherwise youthful, innocent face they are in. This is the first thing that I see when my eyes finally slide open. Fire girl's sister. This must be her...

The flood of emotions that I am riding carries me away from the crowd. The next thing I know, I am somehow back on the train, on all fours and sobbing my eyes out in the entry hall. Heavy footsteps pound behind me, and I force the remaining tears back. But the strain of doing so meets with the lingering nauseousness that I assume anxiety caused earlier this morning. Crawling into the bathroom, I grip the edges of the sink and breathe out of my mouth slowly...

Looking up for a moment, I can see that Cato is standing right behind me. "I'm sorry," I whisper as more tears prick my eyes. "I'm so sorry..."

A second later, he is cradling me gently in a way that I have no choice but to look him right in the eyes. "I know... I messed up. You don't have to tell me so..."

At my words, something in his eyes changes. I can tell that, despite hiding it, these words have hurt him in some way. "And I just did it again! Why do I keep wrecking everything? What is wrong with me?!" For the next several minutes, I keep crying and screaming at myself, hating everything that I have been changed games were trouble. I should've known... Should've known... This echos in my mind for a while.

Shaking, sobbing, and sick of myself, it takes forever to calm down. When I finally do, I find myself tucked in bed with Cato standing over me, holding my hand. I guess I fell asleep at some point, because the clock on the other side of the room says that it is several hours later than I remember it being. A feeling of guilt washes over me, and I stare up into his eyes. "How do you feel?" he asks me as I push myself into a sitting position.

"I'm okay..." I whisper distractedly. Still, something doesn't feel quite normal... I am about to mention this, but before I do, I catch a glimpse of Cato's smile.

"Clove," he begins. "After I told everyone what was going on, they thought you might be sick, or something. So they did some sort of instant blood test, or whatever it was. You slept through it. But don't worry, you're fine." Smiling, he pauses for a moment before continuing. "We are going to have a baby."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Did I hear that right? Are we- are we really? Are we seriously going to have a baby? A few seconds after it hits me that, yes, we are, a tingly, joyful excitement breaks through my frozen shock. Still, I remain absolutely terrified: How can I, of all people, possibly be a good mother? I have a tiny, fragile, innocent, defenseless baby growing inside of me, completely dependent on me to stay alive. The realization makes me nervous to even move; I'm just too worried that I might do something wrong, and end up hurting our child... "We're going to be parents..."

For a second, the world is only composed of the two of us. Then the second stretches, leaving our own little world without any concept of time. We stay wrapped in each other's arms, with our hands placed protectively over my stomach. Over our baby...

The next few hours are purely discussion on what our family will be like now. Everything sounds absolutely perfect. I really don't know how I will be able to wait the next nine months...

Slowly, our hands move in a way that our fingers are intertwined, but still resting gently over our baby. Bliss is all that I can feel at the moment, yet that is irresponsible. Deep down, I know that I need to make up for what I did hours ago. "I'm sorry I ran off like that..." After hours of excited discussion, I am a bit annoyed at myself when a feeble whisper is all that will come out.

"It isn't your fault, Clove. And apparently, that happens often. They just edit the footage to make it seem like it never happened. You didn't do anything wrong... No one who wasn't there will ever have to know. Okay?"

"But what if- what if I really do do something wrong? What if Snow takes revenge on our baby? What happens then?" I tear up, genuinely terrified about this scenario. Snow does so much to children already; who would stop him from that? The tears come faster and faster and I bury my face into Cato's shoulder, sobbing harder than I did since our time in the Capitol, when I thought I was going to lose him Forever. Now, faced with the possibility of the same happening to out child... I can't help but let these intense emotions come pouring out...

"Shh, it's okay, Clove, it's okay... I'm not gonna let that happen, I promise you.. Look, we may have left the arena, but I'm still always going to be ready to fight for you. And now, for our baby..."

These words, no matter how comforting they are meant to be, only strike more fear into me. "And what if he or she has to go in the arena? What then?"

The answer is what I've hoped for, yet never allowed myself to believe I would ever hear. "And what if the Games don't exist then?"

"That's just crazy, okay? What can we do to stop them?"

Cato looks at me sadly, pushes my hair back, and lays me down, before getting next to me a moment later. "Just think about it, okay?"

Sighing, I think for a moment before curling up beside him and closing my eyes. "Okay."

"Good. Now try to get some sleep." I can almost hear his smile. "You and the baby need it."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N- Sorry this is late

Chapter Five

The next morning, the same nervously sick feeling is in the pit of my stomach again. But now I know that that feeling is probably just from the baby. This makes it all a little more bearable. Still, I am grateful that there isn't a tour stop today; we won't get to District Eleven until late tonight, so we will make our public appearances tomorrow afternoon.

I glance over at the clock on the other side of the room, and see that is only a little after five. I try to go back to sleep, and actually manage it for a few minutes. But then the feeling rebounds, and once again, I find myself gripping onto the sink in the bathroom, trying to steady myself. After a few minutes, I think I'm okay. But then I hear the knocks on the door that I had hastily locked. Though I try to ignore it at first, I finally open it, answering any questions that I imagine I will be asked, lacking the patience to answer them. "I'm okay. That's normal. It should only last the first few months. I'm okay..."

Still, after a while of attempted convincing, it isn't working. Gently yet quickly, as he knows I'll protest, Cato picks me up and carries me back into the other room. Though I'm irritated at first, I love it moments later. In fact, when he tries to lay me back down, I silently protest by clinging as tightly as I can around his shoulders.

"Clove," he whispers. "Just lay down, okay?"

Smiling, I grip on even tighter. "I'm fine, really. It's just because of the baby. This is totally normal."

Sighing slightly, he makes an attempt to tuck me in. But the second his touch lessens, I hold tighter and pull him in, too. For a moment, we are too tangled up in each others arms and the messed-up blankets to move properly. Instead, we just move closer together, holding each other, unable to let go...

I never used to be able to savor moments like this. I would enjoy them for a moment, then want to move on. The Games changed that about me; rather than always moving around, ready for anything, never content in one place for too long. It's different now. I just wish it didn't require me destroying so much to understand how precious and fragile life is...

Guilt overcomes me for a second before I place one hand over the spot I imagine our baby to be. Within seconds, that previous guilt is replaced with excitement.

"We need names," I suddenly blurt out. "Or should we wait to find out what we're having first? Do you even want to do that? Or should we keep it a surprise? Maybe we should just choose the name the day the baby is born so we can see if he or she fits our mental image of the name..."

Cato grins and holds both of my hands. "We have a while to think about it. We don't have to choose right now."

"I guess you're right. Lets figure all that out when we get home."

"Home." He repeats this single word with a faraway, longing look. I understand entirely; the only other time we have been away from District Two was for the Games. Being gone, even for different reasons, still feels odd...

"As long as we're together..." My reply comes in a soft whisper as we simultaneously touch each others faces before resuming our tangled-up cuddling. Falling asleep in each other's arms is more like falling into pure bliss...


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

The rest of the tour is actually fairly uneventful. Districts Eleven and One were the hardest, given they were the homes of either our worst enemies or strongest allies. But the others were, though I hate to say it, uneventful and made no impression. Now we are pulling into the station of the stop I've been dreading the most; the Capitol. We will be here for two days, and leaving early on the second. Today counts as day one, and most of the day will be an interview. That won't be too bad, I suppose. But tonight is probably going to be the worst part of the tour; the standard end-of-tour ball that Snow will be hosting.

The interview is very quick and casual. After the camera crews are set up, our part only lasts about fifteen minutes. From some of my personal interviews, I remember to answer in question format as much as possible, which will force Caesar Flickerman to babble on and on and on until time is up. This worked out perfectly for us, since we didn't want to reveal the baby yet. Almost all we talked about was our opinion on a few districts and, of course, the Capitol.

A few hours before we have to leave to go to Snow's, our prep team insists on getting started. "Trust us, this will take forever," my stylist, Angelia, says as she places her hands around my shoulders to led me away. Tugging out of her grip, I turn around and smile softly in Cato's direction. "See you soon."

I'm not exactly sure how it happens, but somehow I end up several feet off the ground, cradeled once again is his arms. There is a blissful moment of contact, and our lips touch. But it ends too soon... "See you later," we repeat before going in our seperate ways.

Prep is, as always, extremely boring. They did most of my prep at the begining of the tour, but for the Capitol, they want it to be new and fresh. First is leg, eyebrow, and underarm waxing, then some facial and elbow exfoliation. After that, I'm stripped of acrylic nails and the build-up of makeup I was too lazy to wash off last night. Then my hair is washed and styles with about a dozen different products before its blow dried, curled, and put into a twist. To finish it off, they add a few silver clips in the back and a squirt of glitter hairspray. Then comes some light foundation, silvery eyeshadow, a tiny bit of dark eye liner, and pale pink lipstick. I am very pleased that, although this is the Capitol, my makeup is not overdone. As two members of the prep team do this, another one is finishing up painting white tips onto my otherwise pale pink fingernails. I'm shocked to say that I actually like something they're painting on me... It almost makes up for the overly-elegant hot pink dress...

When I get that dress on, I notice something kind of alarming; this dress is a lot more form-fitting than the other ones. We agreed to keep the baby a secret as long as possible, and while I don't have a defined bump yet, you can tell I'm already a bit heavier around my hips. Maybe I can pass it off as frills from the dress itself, if anyone brings it up...

The baby! Yesterday, I found a few guides for new parents in District One, and decided to look through them. Though I don't remember the names of them, the books all listed a few chemicals that can potentially harm baby's when they're developing. And who knows what's in those nail polishes? Who knows what they are doing to my child right now?

Frantically, I scrub it from my nails, knowing that the remover at least claims to be all-natural, and run from the room, leaving the polish fumes behind. I don't care what the prep team thinks. I just need to get out of there.

What are we supposed to do? Wait and see what happens? Go in and check to see if anything is happening? I don't even know how far along I am. Does that make a difference? Am I over-reacting? Under-reacting? What's happening?

As quickly as possible, I run the length of the train, desperate to find Cato. He will know what to do... right? After a few minutes, I find him, also fully prepped and ready to go. I quickly explain the situation before he can say anything.

"I think it'll be fine, Clove," he insists lightly. "The baby will be fine..."

"But what if? What if something happens, and it's my fault? What if?!"I take a deep breath and try to calm down. "Look, is there any way we can check?"

So we sneak off, telling only one of the Capitol assistants. Our cover story was that the shoulder I had dislocated in the Games slipped out of place again, and we were going in to get it professionally snapped back in. After reassuring that we would meet everyone at Snow's chosen location, we were finally allowed to leave.

As soon as we are outside, Cato picks me up and runs full-speed into the main city area. Within a few minutes, we find the building that we stayed in before the Games. Not knowing the city well at all, but knowing that this building has a large underground medical annex, it seems like our most logical choice. Needless to say, we have awful memories about this place. Instinctively, I grip onto his shoulders harder. I've almost lost him here once; who says it won't happen again? I know it seems silly, but I can't help it...

After some paper work, we are brought back for some consultation in the issue. Quickly, I explain what the issue was. Though we are told that the limited exposure won't cause problems, I'm still skeptical. "Isn't there some sort of test, or something, just to double check?" I ask. They agree to do one blood test, though it won't prove much. Finally, I am able to get them to do some basic imaging. I know this will show nothing, but I can't help the curiosity...

So minutes later, we end up with a big shock. Right as a fuzzy image comes to the screen, Cato squeezes my hand reassuringly and one of the technicians turns to us, beaming.

"You're about five weeks along, and everything seems fine. And right here-" the screen zooms in "you can see two developing babies. Fraternal twins. Congratulations!"

The shock is evident on both of our faces. Mumbling shocked 'thank you's, we leave, smiling and surprised and in a bubble of our own wonderful happiness.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Though we were told that the ending of the Victory Tour would be amazing and unforgettable, it left almost no impression on either of us. After we leave the city center, we are somehow escorted Snow's house. No, that's too small a word. The one room that we were in that night could easily hold the entire District Two training annex. I suppose the idea is that whoever the new Victor is- or, in this case, whoever _they are-_ should be given an oppertunity to mingle with the majority of the influential citizens of the Capitol. In other words, the night was an endless stream of Gamemaker's, high-ranking Peacekeepers, and politicians, as well as a couple past Victors and stylists. No one from our team was present. Following tradition, invitations only go to those that the president gets something from. It is never spoken, though it has never been a mystery. It is claimed that these ceremonies are about celebrating survival. In actuality, they are about the same thing the Games are; gaining power and fame for those of high status while ignoring the general population. It was so relieving when we were allowed to leave...

Now, we are tangled up in multiple blankets and each other's arms, too excited by the previous news to sleep, even at three in the morning. It doesn't matter, though. We will be home tomorrow. Home...

"Should we tell our parents?" I blurt out, resting one hand on the slightly pudgier area of my stomach. "I don't have an obvious bump, yet, so if we don't say they won't know. Should we wait at least the first few months?"

"Let's wait until month three, just in case. After that, we probably should start telling." Cato smiles down at me as plays with my hair, tangling the now-loose ringlets. "In the meantime, what should we do?"

There is so much that we need to figure out that it takes me a moment to come up with a practical answer. "First thing's first. They need names. I know we said that we should wait a bit, but that would be hard enough with one. With two, we should take all the time we can get. As of right now, I don't have any ideas. "It is a solid ten minutes before either of us say anything. I suppose the cluelessness is unanimous. "Okay, then. I can see if we can get a naming guide when we get home. Maybe that will be easier to have some guidance."

Still looking at me, he nods enthusiastically. "That sounds good. Yes, let's do that. And we will be back soon."

"Right." Stifling a small yawn, I snuggle in deeper. Now, physically as well as emotionally, our hearts are beating together. Brown and blue meet as our eyes lock upon each others. I suppose that they close at some point or another, because seemingly moments later, we awaken in each other's warm embrace.

Morning kisses and arriving home; two of my favorite things happen at the same moment.


	8. Chapter 8

A/n- Sorry this is so late.

Chapter Eight

pulling into the district's train station floods every bit of me with indescribable relief. Between the familiarity of the district, and the safety of being in Cato's arms, I finally feel secure enough to try regaining some semblance of normalcy.

Of course, our new normal is now involving the challenge of raising two children. Our children. The challenge both thrills and terrifies me.

A tingle of electricity surges through my spine as Cato plants a gentle kids on the base of my neck. "Ready to go?" The steady control in his voice reminds me instantly of reaping day. Could that really have only been eight months ago?

i nod. "Yeah, let's go."

After a few minutes, we get to our home in Victors Village. From outside, I can still hear the loud babble of voices straining to be heard over one another, though the noise is friendly, not confrontational at all. This can only mean one thing; our families are there.

As soon as we come near the door, my younger sister, Marcia, runs outside with someone I recognize as Cato's ten-year-old brother, Crispin. I have only ever met him a few times, and Cato rarely talks about him, but it would be impossible to not see how closely they resemble one another. They also have an older sister, Cora, who is in her mid-twenties. Again, Cato doesn't talk about her much, not because they don't get along, but the spacing made it hard for the three to bond.

The complete opposite is true in my family. There are only about fourteen months between me and my younger twin brothers, Rufus and Julian. Between Marcia and I are five years. And, I realize with a shock, no height... Have I really been away from my family so much that I didn't realize her growth? She's almost my size now.

"Clove!" Marcia runs over to me, hugging tight, though luckily around my shoulders. "Everyone's here. We've been waiting for you two. You need to tell us all about the tour. Was it as amazing as they always say it is? What's District Four like?" Well, she may grow up, but I guess she'll always be the same. Smiling, I hug her back.

"It was great." Of course, only a little bit of it was. Now, as more of my family comes outside, I feel the need to tell everyone the best part. Discreetly, I glance at Cato, half raising my eyebrows. He nods.

A few hours later, when everyone calms down a bit, we find the perfect time. Nervousness sets in for a minute, before realizing that there's no reason for our parents to be upset; we are married adults, after all. So, with Cato standing just behind me, and both of our hands pressing against my growing abdomen, I tell them all at once.

"We just found out not too long ago. We're expecting. Twins."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Eight months later, I wrap my arms around my considerably swollen stomach, smiling slightly. Though the babies are huge and so are my ankles, I feel great. Not so much physically- I can barely move, I've gotten so big- but emotionally. Cato and I are due to meet our little angels in three days, though it could be any moment now that they decide they're ready. Honestly, I didn't think that we'd ever be ready for them. But now, everything is set and perfect. Their names, Veronica Elise and Leo Thaddeus, were finalized a week ago. And after lots of confusion, everything two babies could possibly need was taken care of.

Learning everything we would need to know was not an easy process. A few weeks ago, Cato's sister Cora thought it would be a good idea for us to try diapering her year-old son, Seneca- yes, he is named after the Gamemaker. It did not go well at all. Lets just say that Seneca had a nice big surprise waiting for us. Though not the squeamish type, I thought Cato was about to pass out. I, on the other hand, decided to try. Try being the key word. I can only hope for my children's sakes that some sort of maternal instinct will kick in and allow me to change them in less than twenty minutes.

The excitement mingled with the growing nervousness sends a sharp twinge through the core of my body. I squirm as it gets a bit more intense, then feel it fade all at once. Though I didn't notice him come in, the next thing I see are Cato's intense blue eyes staring at me. "What's wrong?"

Shaking my head, I smile. "Nothing's wrong. I just can't wait until they're here."

Without any transition or indication to one another what we are about to do, he picks me up and holds me as if I'm the baby. Even with the additional forty or so pounds I've gained, the years of training have him conditioned enough to pick me up surprisingly easily. I snuggle into his large, comfortable arms, exhaling slowly as I wrap my own around his neck. We stay like that for a moment, eyes closed and absorbing each other, before our arms tighten more protectively around each other. I tilt my head up for a kiss...

Ow! Right where his hand is pressing against the small of my back, there's a deep,cramping feeling. Curling up smaller, I feel it spread through my lower body. It isn't the worst thing I've ever felt, but its certainly not pleasant, either. Pulling Cato's hand off the spot, I slip out of his arms, leaning against the wall.

Thats when it hits me. "Cato? I think they're coming."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

"Come on, Clove. Breathe." Cato whispers these words for what seems to be the thousandth time in the past twelve hours. In a way only he can pull off, it's both annoying and reassuring. "You're almost there."

He seems like he knows for sure. But it feels like there's no progress, like its taking forever. I knew that the delivery would take a while, but I wasn't expecting it to be this hard. In the last twelve hours, I have felt worse than I ever did in training, in the Games... Ever, really. Though I hate showing vulnerability in any way, shape, or form for any reason whatsoever, I've allowed myself to do just that. This has also shown me more of a nurturing, thoughtful, gentle side to Cato. I have always known it was there, but this all reinforces the knowledge that he will be a fantastic father once I finally get these babies out of me...

Between contractions, I feel fine, though exhausted. But when they're actually happening, I can barely breathe or move. I am so glad that the only people I here right now are Cato and my mother, who is helping us deliver the babies. Unlike most districts, District Two does have some organized health care, though it's usually saved for anything that absolutely cannot be taken care of at home. So here, like everywhere except the Capitol, home births are more common than not.

Tiny crescents form where my fingernails dig into the palm of Cato's hand, while my mother does a quick examination for progress. Anywhere from minutes to another hour or so, possibly longer," she speculates before we ask to be alone.

Moments after she leaves, the contraction peaks. 'There could be hours still,' I remind myself as I roll onto my side, biting down on the pillow case to prevent any noise from coming out.

"It's okay, Clove. It'll be over soon. You're doing great." Cato cups my face in one hand, kissing the tip of my nose until it gets more bearable.

"Thanks for being here." My whisper is soft, but I mean it.

Half an hour later comes the happiest moment of my life. In the middle of an extremely hard contraction, I close my eyes and lay still and flat, head spinning. Then, I hear it; the first cry of a newborn baby. Our baby. Little Veronica Elise Marshall, measuring 20 inches, eight pounds, three ounces, is handed to me minutes later. Staring at her is indescribable. The moment feels like a little infinity. But too soon, I have to let go. Handing her to Cato, I watch his reaction- a huge smile accompanied by, though he will never admit it, a steady flow of tears- as I get ready to deliver her brother.

This time is easier, even though he is bigger. Leo Thaddeus Marshall, measuring twenty two inches, nine pounds, and eight ounces and with a very large head, is handed to me seven minutes later. Minus the largeheadedness, he looks exactly like Cato.

Having them both here, both finally here, is the most wonderful feeling ever. After I'm cleaned up a bit, Cato slips in bed next to me, holding me as we hold both now-sleeping babies between us. That amazing moment is when I wished I could freeze time.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

A few hours later, I awaken to not the usual one, but three pairs of bright blue eyes staring at me. Cato is sitting next to me, holding both babies close. Immediately, I sit up, taking Veronica in my arms. "How've they been?"

Half-joking, he turns to me, exposing what seems to be tiny claw marks lining his bare shoulders. "Well, they have your fingernails." Before I can reply, they start to simultainiously hiccup. It is the most adorable thing I have ever seen them do. "Cato, go get the camera."

"Why? It's cute, yes, but they're going to do it again, right? Why not wait until they're more awake?"

"Yeah, yeah, we can get it then, too. Just do it."

And so when they grow up and ask why we have half an hour of video featuring their hiccups, that is why.

We would have had more, but eventually, they fell asleep. And that is when it really sinks in. "They're really ours. They're here, they are wonderful, and they are perfect." I watch their controlled, soft breathing for a moment. "They're ours."

Cato holds me close enough to feel gentle heat radiating from his skin. "They are, Clove. They really, really are." We press together, arms intertwined. A dull ache spreads though my lower back as I roll over in an attempt to get even closer.

"It's from yesterday." I wasn't aware of my shocked facial expression until right now. But how he knows that, I'm not sure. Still, he continues. "It hurts, right? That's from yesterday. You could've pulled a muscle. I wouldn't be surprised if you did."

"Why not? Did I do something wrong?" For some reason, I have insisted on staying in this position.

"No, Clove. You did wonderfully. It's just that it looked really hard." Our eyes lock on each others for a minute, before my head ever so slowly inclines into a nod.

I'm not sure how it happened, but the next thing I know, I am laying on top of Cato. Gently but firmly, he is rubbing my lower back. It feels amazing, and I almost wish he will continue for hours. It becomes such a repetitive motion that after several minutes, he is asleep, arms around my waist.

There is something about watching the ones you love as they sleep. Whether it is because of their peacefulness, the way they breathe, or just the fact that its okay to stare at them for long periods of time, I remain unaware. But whatever it is that makes it so wonderful, I will be forever grateful. Because this moment is truly something I would never dream of missing.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N- Okay, I think I'm going to be back for a while now. I got a few things straightened out, school will be over soon, and I have gotten over some block. So I think I can update regularly now. Thanks to suggestions from my reviewers (sorry, I can't access all of your names at the moment, though Clato27 comes to mind), I know the direction that most of you would like this story to go. I just hope you don't mind a detour or few along the way!

Oh, and I had a lot of trouble figuring out the math about what time of year the babies were born, because of a mistake I made earlier. But if I didn't make that mistake, they wouldn't be born yet. So just pretend that they're five months old, and it's a few weeks before the games are to begin, while I figure out the technicalities.

Chapter 12

"They're getting so big!" Marcia smiles at me before looking down at Leo. The babies are five weeks old now. It's hard to believe how fast time has passed. It may seem like an insubstantial time span to most people. But with two new babies, everything seems different.

"You're right, they are." I smile back at her, shifting Veronica in my own arms. Lately, Marcia has been coming by every few days or so to help look after the babies. They've really taken to her, Leo especially.

"Hey, Clove?" Marcia studies me for a moment. "This may not be a good thing to ask, but shouldn't we be hearing something about the Games by now? It's a Quarter Quell, and all. Mom said that they usually have some sort of announcement about them a while in advance.

I think for a moment. Assuming Leo and Veronica were conceived about a month before Cato and I knew for sure, then they were born about ten months after our Games ended. Add in the five weeks, and it's less than a month before the Quarter Quell should begin. I just shake my head.

"I don't know, Marcia. I haven't heard anything. Maybe that announcement will come tonight."

"Oh." Marcia looks away for a minute. "It's okay. I guess I just assumed you and Cato would have some inside information, being victors, and all. Where is he, anyway?"

Lately, Cato has been at the training center more than usual. In preparation for the Quell, they've asked all of the districts victors to help train the students as much as possible. As soon as I recovered from the birth, I thought it would be okay for Cato to go. He seemed to want to, even though he'd protest. But a few hours a week seemed to be working perfectly. I remind Marcia of the arrangement, and she nods before going back to talking to Leo.

Marcia was right, I decide. They are bigger. It's probably only a few centimeters, maybe a few fractions or a pound or do, but they obviously aren't newborns anymore. As they grow, so does my urge to protect them. Maybe this will be the last of the Games.

Leo starts screeching in Marcia's arms. Veronica seems to look at him before joining in.

"I'm going to go feed them." I pick Leo up, balancing the two of them with their heads above the crooks of my elbows and their feet touching. It's a routine I've fallen well into in the last few weeks. I nod at Marcia. "It's okay, I can do this myself. You can go home, or stay here. Whatever you'd like. This will take a while, though."

Marcia nods, and I go off with the other two, who are still shrieking at each other.

The three of us stay there for a while. They're still not used to the process and neither am I, but they're satisfied, despite the long amount off time it takes. We get into a rhythm, and a phone rings downstairs. "Marcia, can you get that?" I shout, though its not necessary. Ever since she could grasp objects, she's been picking up ringing telephones.

"Do you two want a bath tonight? Nice warm bubbles? That would be nice, wouldn't it?" I learned early on that babbling nonsensically to them helps them to relax, which makes the process easier for all of us.

"Clove!" Marcia runs screaming into the room. Her eyes are wild. "Clove, we've got to get to the training center, now! There's something wrong with Cato!"


	13. Chapter 13

A/N- SugarCakes123- I wanted to respond to your review to say thanks. But it seems that your PM feature isn't working. Just know I appreciate it, even if I couldn't say thanks, okay?

Chapter Thirteen

I jump. Leo and Veronica start fussing, and Marcia takes them from my arms. Setting them down in their cradles, she hugs me. "I'm sorry, Clove. I can stay here with these two until you get back. I'll call Mom, of you'd like. Whatever you need."

I nod. "Stay here. Have Mom meet you. I'll call with updates."

She stares at me for a moment. "Okay. Will you be alright?"

My eyes can't meet hers when I answer. "Yeah. Yeah, we both will be. Thanks for looking after them."

She nods. "It's no problem. Just go. We will be fine."

She's right, they'll be okay. I kiss the babies on the tops of their heads, thank Marcia one more time, and break into a run.

The training center is a tall, gray building that stands nearly at the exact center of the district. Luckily, Victor's Village isn't too far away. It takes me around eight minutes after the call to get to the center.

No one is outside. But when I get in through the double doors, I can tell that nothing is as it should be.

_'Stay calm,'_ I tell myself, running towards the staircase that will bring me to the third floor main gym, where in nearly certain Cato was teaching. _'Stay calm. Maybe Marcia misunderstood? Maybe something was wrong, but it's fixed now. Maybe I'm just overreacting. Stay calm._

There is another hallway after I get off of the initial set of stairs. Ignoring the stares and whispers of some of the younger kids poking their heads out to watch me, I run. Its a clear 200 yards with no bends, curves, or obsticles. This is the exact sort of sprint my body was built for. But despite that fact, I just can't seem to go fast enough.

One more staircase and another shorter hallway is standing between myself and my entry. But then, finally, here I am.

Slamming into the door, I stumble into the room, only to be held back by one of the trainers. I'm not strong or large enough to push past. '_Don't panic,'_ I convince myself one more time. '_Call five times. Then you can.' _And so I try.

First time, no response.

Second, nothing.

Third time. I start to take in the sounds of the room, though I'm not making out what anybody is saying.

Forth time. I squeeze back tears, and prepare mysethe for the possibility that something really bad did happen.

Fifth time. His name comes out as a tiny, defeated squeak. The adrenaline pounding through my veins comes to a halt when there is no answer. It adds an edge to my bubbling emotions, but makes the noises in the room much clearer. Bits of dialogue swirl around me as I slip out of the trainer's loosening grasp.

"Seemed like an ordinary concussion-"

"Mostly unresponsive-"

"Possible transfer to the Capitol-"

A streak of warmth coats my left cheek, and I realize that I'm crying for the first time in a while. To my surprise, it's my ex-mentor, Marilla, who approaches me first.

"Clove, we need to talk."

This is exactly what she said to me about eleven months ago. Cato had caught a brain-dissolving amoeba during the Games, and that is what she said before she told be. Pushing Marilla away, I shake my head. "No, no. Don't say that. Its nothing like before. It can't be like before. It will never be that way again. No, please, don't."

She holds my hand and looks at me. "Clove, do you remember what Alexandria, the neurologist from the Capitol, said about the antibiotics to treat N. fowleri sometimes causing tissue damage? Well, there hasn't been any sort of examination, but they're speculating that that is the problem."

Weirdly enough, this calms me. They know, to some extent what is going on. Alexandria said that this can be fixed. But still, my throat feels dry. "What happened?"

"Just a normal training exercise," Marilla explains. "He was demonstrating a concept, I'm not sure what, and slipped. At first, he was just showing the signs of any ordinary concussion. And passing out for a moment would be normal. But at the point in time we called you, it had been two minutes, and he didn't wake up. As of right now, they're saying he is unresponsive. But it seems like his vital signs are strong and regular."

I nod. "Where is he? And can I see him?"

Without another word, Marilla takes me into the small clinic built into the gym. It's come in handy over the years for sure. Marital brings me to the door, and waits outside. When I enter, I find Cato lying in between to unfamiliar trainers, who I assume are both monitoring his symptoms. Pressing my way between the two of them, I stand next to Cato.

"Hi," I whisper, taking one of his hands in mine. Sure enough, Marilla was right. He is still unresponsive. "Not feeling so good, huh? Don't you worry about a thing. It's all going to be okay, you'll see." I want to keep up a positive conversation after this. I don't mind what anyone around me thinks, this worked the first time. "Veronica did the cutest little thing while you were gone..."

Eventually I am interrupted by Marilla coming back in. "Clove, they really want to transfer him back to the Capitol, just in case. The neurologist there is more familiar with the after effects of N. Fowleri than anybody else in Panem. All we need is your consent."

"Yes. Bring us there."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

"Hey, Cato. Good to see you awake." I smile. It's several hours now, since we left the training center. We are in the same place that we were for several weeks after the games ended, when we had our N. Fowleri scare. It feels so weird being back here. But I've got much more hope this time around.

He looks up at me, squinting and obviously confused.

"Hey, don't you worry about a thing, okay?" I smile again. "Everything's going to be taken care of. We just need for you to cooperate, okay? Do you remember anything?"

He blinks hard. "Not really... Last thing I can is the training center... What happened? Where are the kids?"

"With my mom." I answer the part I know first. "And they're not sure yet. They did a few imaging tests. It seems like a concussion, but you were asleep for too long. They've ruled out bleeding in your brain, so that's good. It seems like they're considering the possibility of some complications from the amoeba. But we're really not sure at this point. I think they're analyzing records now. It took two hours to get here, and we've been here another two. But this could take a while..."

Our hands find each others. Interwoven fingers squeeze, and alarm me further. His hand is much too hot, and the grip is too weak. "How do you feel?" I don't let our eyes meet until I finish the question.

Even without words, the answer is obvious. Between the warmth, paleness, and general lack of energy, I don't need to ask. "Anything I can't see? Headache?"

He nods slowly. "Real bad one, Clove."

Once again, I squeeze his hands. "Okay. It's going to be okay. Just go back to sleep, alright, that might help... Deep breaths, there you go..."

His eyes are growing heavier. Someone will come by soon, and I'll have to wake him for that. But for now, I assume this is fine. I hope so, because faster than I realize, his eyes fall shut. "Love you, Clove," he whispers groggily before rolling over and falling asleep fully again.

About twenty minutes later, I'm joined by Panem's top neurologist, a chatty, blue-haired woman named Alexandria. She seems to pick up last years conversation as if I never left.

"Hi, Clove," she beams. "Remember how I put I antibiotics in the last time? I'm going to do something somewhat similar this time."

I nod, knowing what she's referring to. She did an experimental treatment for the amoeba, which involved injecting antibiotics into the spine, allowing it to travel into the fluid surrounding the brain.

"Okay, now I'm going to use the same method, but for opposite results. I need a sample of the fluid to check for infected tissue, just in case. Survivors of the N. Fowleri are rare, so we don't have many cases we can compare this against. And the antibiotics were never used on another human, until last year, so I've got to be extremely thorough, alright? You two can opt out, legally speaking, but that could possibly be extremely dangerous. The truth is, we don't know anything for certain yet. Are you going to agree to this test, and recommended treatment course? That's basically what we need to know."

"I do. I'll get him up, though. But I doubt he will say no..."

Alexandria moves over to the other side of the room, I suppose to prepare something for the procedure. I remember it from last time, but then he had no idea what was going on. I doubt this will be a problem, but it still didn't look so good the first time.

"Hey, Cato, can you wake up for me, please?' Slowly, I kiss his forehead with a soft smile. "Just for a little bit, okay? You can go back to sleep soon, come on."

He listens to me surprisingly well. After we squeeze each others hands gently once more, I step back a little bit to let Alexandria take over. She explains everything that she is about to do completely before launching right into instructions,

"Okay, now. Don't worry, try to relax. I've done this so many times before. Alright, Cato. If you can just roll over on your side and bring your knees up, kinda curled in... That's it." Alexandria smiles. "I've actually done this on you before. It'll be so much easier now though. I'm going to numb the area, collect the fluid, and bandage it all up. It won't take long at all. Just relax."

Alexandria continues to babble on like this. It's nice, in a way, for me as well. Distracting, at least. I didn't even notice how one of my hands is being kept in a tighter grip than before.

"Nervous?" To my surprise, he nods.

"Go in three," whisper to Alexandria, who begins to count out loud. On two, I lean in and initiate a deep kiss until she's finished.

"See, that wasn't so bad." I pull away once she gives me a signal that it's okay.

"Let's do it again." He smiles weakly at me, with heavy eyelids once again.

"Later. You need some rest."

Alexandria nods as she finishes up labeling the fluid. "Clove's right. I'll leave you two alone and bring this down to the lab." We nod, and she's quickly gone.

"Okay, later," Cato yawns. "Promise me, Clove?"

Once again, I can't help but smile. "Promise."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

"Results are in, Clove. And they aren't too bad." Alexandria comes back in quicker than I expected. "I mean, it's not great, but it isn't anything too uncommon, at least. Anyway, we're going to diagnose this as viral meningitis. There isn't any specific treatment, because most people recover on their own. But if its okay, we would like at least two days of observation, and to vaccinate you. It is contagious, but it also has a very high rate of full recovery."

I sigh, obviously relieved. No, this isn't the best news we could have gotten. But it's a lot better than tissue damage.

"We do want to get some sort of imaging scan. Mostly for our own curiosity. Lagan, that's up to you. It's just that so few people do recover from the amoeba that Cato contracted here, and well... We're just wondering about structural differences."

"That sounds fine," I agree. "Do whatever you need to."

Alexandria smiles as she runs a finger down her clip board. "Thank you. Just remember, sleep is probably one of the best things for him right now. Don't worry if patterns are thrown off. Usually, this makes it harder to stay awake. So don't panic about that, okay? And just pop on over up front whenever you have a moment so we can get you the vaccine."

This isn't like the last time. We're pretty much certain to both get out of here. In a few days, everything will be fine.

Smiling, I start to stroke Cato's hair back. He's warm, but nowhere near as hot as the first time. More importantly, this time I know he will wake up. In fact, unless I'm loosing it, it seems like his eyes are opening now.

"Hey," he whispers. It comes out scratchy and wavery, nowhere close to the loud, certain tones I'm used to. As he sits up, our eyes meet. "What's going on?"

"Shh, lay back down, now." My command comes sharper than I intended. Softer, I continue, as our hands lace together. "Meningitis. The viral kind. Just give it a few days, and you'll be fine. Sleep a lot. Now, do you feel any better?"

I had the same infection once, when I was about five or six. Even in the better-off districts, vaccines are rare. Many of us got this in District Two, either as a young child, or early adult. Home treatment is so much more common. Whether professional care is because of our victor status or the risk of broken-down tissue, I'm not sure. But hopefully Alexandria will be able to help avoid the worst of the symptoms. Maybe she has, because he nods.

"Much better. Just-" A yawn finishes the sentence.

"It's alright, go back to sleep. You need it."

The rest of the day repeats that way. Talking for a while, then sleeping, moments where we do nothing but feel wrapped up in the slight pressure of each others intertwined fingers. Alexandria comes in a couple times to set up and adjust a fluid drip and things like that. So we were entirely unprepared for the explosion of purple that was to burst in.

Tessa Nova.


End file.
